


Visions of Q

by rosiemadder



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosiemadder/pseuds/rosiemadder
Summary: Q dies, and James can't let go.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Boffin1710](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/gifts).



> This is my attempt at angst for Boffin, I tried, and perhaps mostly failed, but Merry Christmas.  
> Enjoy my version of fluffy angsty secret Santa stuff.  
> Also, xphil98197 did a great job of beta'ing, however as I'm completely new to using google docs, I think I may have lost most, if not all of her correction's, so any errors, and bad writing are all mine.  
> Also I still haven't figured out how to change the font within the story, so memories that were in in italics for ease, are not longer. So if it doesn't make sense, feel free to comment, and I'll try to clear it up. Or maybe even fix it.

Visions of Q.

 

If James listened closely he could still hear Q. The little huff of laughter when James would exasperate him. The silences that often conveyed more than words. The whispered “I love you”, in the early mornings.

If he looked hard enough he could still see Q. The crazy hair, where there were secrets hidden. The steaming Earl Grey that would fog aground his head. The laugh lines that were slowly starting to appear, before. . . before.

James knew his friends were worried about him. They all grieved in their own way for the loss of the quartermaster. James though, James could not let him go. So the rest of MI6 that was close worried about 007. James took more and more dangerous jobs for MI6, in the hopes that he would soon be able to join his beloved Q. So much so, that M had but him on forced leave. It didn’t help. With James stuck at home and nothing to keep him occupied he saw and heard Q everywhere.

Even the cats, that James couldn’t bare to part with seemed to see Q. In fact at this very moment they were both sitting on coffee table in front of the seat that Q always sat at. They seemed to be listening intently. James laughed at himself, maybe he really did need to take Eve up on her offer to set him up an appointment with Psych. Q was gone, and he wasn’t coming back, no matter how much the flat still smelled of him, it was almost a year, the scent should be gone. The memories wouldn’t leave, James couldn’t leave. Alec had tried to get him to move in with him months ago, but every time James thought of moving he was unable to pack up and leave Q. James left the cats to commune with the ghost of Q, and went to the bedroom. Laying down on the duvet, he felt for the ring box under the pillow, the one he had found after. . . after. The one with the rings that Q had bought, inscribed with “Forever”. James fell asleep, remembering.

“James are you almost home?”  
“Yes Q, the plane just landed, I should be back at the flat within the hour”  
“I just have to run to headquarters to check on the minions, they are almost done with my prototype. Dinner is in the oven, yes I cooked, it is on a timer, I should be back in time to serve it. And James just leave the table as it is, I love you, see you soon.”  
James walked into the flat and saw the roses on the table, he smelled the roast in the oven, the wine waiting in the ice box, and the small wrapped box on the table. James wondered what the occasion was, did he forget their anniversary? When was their anniversary? He sat down with the cats on the couch, to wait, and promptly fell asleep.  
He woke up to darkness and the smell of burned meat, to the melted ice around the wine, and the sound of the phone ringing. He smiled thinking Q must have gotten tied up at work and was calling to apologize, James would tease him but forgive him, like he always did. James answered the phone “Q? What caught fire this time?”  
“James?” came Eve’s voice, “ James, there’s been an accident. . .” after that he remembered nothing for a very long time.

 

Months passed and James felt he was going crazy, he kept dreaming of Q, and sometimes out of the corner of his eyes he felt he could see him even when he was awake. M still wouldn’t allow him on missions, and James was drinking heavily, his friends of which he still had a few were worried. He had mentioned to Eve a few times about thinking he saw Q, and she looked at him with worry and compassion, and told him perhaps it was time to move, time to put away all of Q’s stuff. James still couldn’t bring himself to move, no matter how Eve or Alec tried. He did give away most of Q’s possessions, destroying most of the tech, his laptop one of the few things to escape the purge. He hid the rings away, those he just could not part with. During the purge of Q’s stuff, James could swear the cats were looking at him with disgust at the loss of what Q there was left. 

After almost a year James caught fewer glimpses of Q and even the dreams seemed to be slowing down. The cats no longer seemed to commune with Q. The memories were fading, still in the midnight hours, when the flat was quiet, James could almost believe Q was still there with him, still up working quietly at his computer, just like he did. . . before. James fell asleep wrapped in the duvet, the only thing of Q’s he had kept using..

James opened his eyes, and Q was sitting on their bed, on James’ bed now. “Don’t worry James, you’re still sleeping.” They talked like old times, James wanted to reach out and touch, be he was afraid that Q would vanish. After what seemed like forever, Q lay beside James and reached for his hand. Finally Q said, “James, I’ve missed you, you are so hard to reach. It is getting harder. I keep trying, the cats hear me, even they are starting to forget, but you just don’t, or won’t. James, please don’t forget me, please try to see me, I am here. When you wake up, remember me, see me here. I have something for you, if you remember.” James abruptly woke, and for a second there was Q, smiling at him with love in his eyes, pointing at the side table on Q’s side of the bed. The one that James could not bear to look at, or clear out. Then Q was gone again. James shook his head and laughed at himself. At the foot of the bed, though the two cats were intently looking at the spot that Q had been. James couldn’t help himself, he opened the drawer. Inside it was the small wrapped box he had put in there months ago.. James took it out and placed it on the bed beside him, but was unable to bring himself to open it and flood himself with memories of Q. He fell back asleep.

The next day James woke up, rolled over and felt the box, he could almost hear Q whispering to him, telling him to unwrap it. He opened it, and there, in a small black jewelry box were two rings, both inscribed with the word “Forever”. Forever was apparently not a long time.

James walked into headquarters that morning and went straight to M’s office. He was determined to go back into the field, he knew that sooner or later he would be able to join Q. Eve was sitting at her desk, and when smiled when she looked up and saw James. James hid his painful thoughts and smiled back. They spoke for a while, M was apparently not in the office. All of a sudden Eve shivered and James heard something drop, looking down he saw the ring box had fallen out of his pocket, and had somehow opened to allow Eve to see the rings. Picking up the box she looked at the rings, then at James, the devastation in her eyes reappearing. She stood and pulled him in for a hug. 

James brokenly told her about finding the rings, and in the bottom of the box the cue cards he had found, written in binary, that he had put through Q’s unlocked laptop. It was the most awkward and beautiful proposal Bond had ever read, it was perfectly Q. Eve looked at the ring that was made for James’ hand and pulled it out offering it to James. “Maybe,” she said, “forgetting is not what you should be doing but remembering the good times. If you can’t move on right now, remember, and move on when you can.” James took the offered ring and placed it on his finger. Out of nowhere behind Eve, Q appeared. James stepped back quickly, his eyes widening. Q's eyes showed surprise, disbelief and such an outpouring of love, that James took another step back. Q did not disappear, or fade, if anything he became clearer.

“You can see me you can finally see me. I can't believe that worked. “ Q shouted with joy.  
Q walked out of the room beckoning James, who followed after a quick goodbye to Moneypenny who still looked worried. James drove home, with Q beside him, feeling like he had finally lost his mind, but not caring, he had Q back. Q reach out and touched James’ hand, and James could feel him, not the same as before, almost like a memory but he could still feel Q. Q seemed to fade a bit at the touch, as if he was losing energy, but he did not disappear. When the arrived home the cats were overjoyed and wound around Q. Q explained a lot to James about how he was able to get James to see him, and how the cats always could. Most of the explanation became white noise to James who was just happy Q was back. The gist of it revolved around love and faith and the power of memories. James really didn’t care, maybe he was crazy, but his love was back, and forever was again a long time.

Epilogue  
Life with the ghost of Q was not perfect, no one else could see him and James had to be careful not to talk about him around his friends. He did not need to be sectioned off. When he could first see Q, he took dangerous missions with the hopes of joining him fast. Q quickly vetoed that idea, explaining he wanted James to live and enjoy his life as long as he could. Death was the end of life, it shouldn’t come in the middle of a life if it didn’t have to. So Q helped James stay alive along time. Headquarters stopped questioning the strange luck, and information James seemed to have with him always. The odd knowledge of what was happening behind closed doors, and the tech he seemed to be able to create on his own. The missions were successful, and that was what mattered to them. Eve and Alec were glad to get their friend back, and if he occasionally seemed to be laughing at something neither of them had said or done, they ignored it. James lived a long and happy life with the ghost of Q, most of the touches came in his dreams, where Q said it was easier, took less out of him. Many years later, the kittens of the kittens of Q’s original cats, saw when James quietly passed away in his bed. They saw Q and James embrace and finally James and Q were completely together, forever.


End file.
